Using temporal physics to settle workplace disputes
Did you touch my stapler?
It's cool if you did, I just want to know. It's not like I'm going to do something dramatic.
You mean aside from have an existential breakdown in the middle of newsletter by breaking the fifth wall?
(That's when you have a conversation with someone who doesn't really exist but multiverse theory says they might, so you've given up all hope of understanding subjective reality).
Well, I mean, I could just steal your sandwich out of the office refrigerator.
But I'd probably just build a spaceship fast enough to get me to Sagittarius A (that's a black hole that's 1,500 lightyears away, so I'd have time to catch up on The Walking Dead on the way).
Once I was there, I'd park my spaceship at the very perfect edge of the singularity and eat a taco.
Because, here's the thing: if I've done my math correctly, the Earth will have long-since exploded in a fiery ball of solar radiation by the time I finish chewing my last delicious bite of spicy carne asada.
I mean, maybe. Perhaps only a few thousand years will pass.
Either way -- your stapler-touching behind will be long dead.
That's because time works differently around and inside a black hole.
So the moral of the story is: don't touch my $%*&ing stapler. And, also, physics is the science of revenge.
Go now, and tell people what you've seen here today.
I'm getting super excited forTNW2021 — and you should too!
Why? Because of speakers like Chris Ume. I can't wait to see him on stage as he's the co-founder ofMetaphysic.ai, and is widely recognized as the world expert in the emerging field of hyper-real videos... and he createddeepfake Tom Cruise on TikTok.